by Mozzified Contributors Zainab Khan and Zara Khurshid
Minder, a self-proclaimed “no nonsense approach to finding a great Muslim spouse,” was launched last week. Our staff at Mozzified decided to investigate. These are the kinds of guys we found:
1) Mr. Confident.
This guy already has the date, venue, and ring picked out. All he’s waiting for is your baba’s number. #slowdownbro
2) The Flirt.
Him: When should I send my parents over?
You: … I should have swiped left.
3. The Mipster.
Angles, Angles, Angles. You may see a peek of his Ray-Bans if you’re lucky.
4. The 21 year old doctor.
You: So you’re a doctor?
Him: Ya, I’m applying to med school next year.
5. The Funny Guy
“So, is it only halal if I swipe right?”
6. The Poser
He says his name is Sal, but it’s actually Salahuddin. He is looking for an “Eastern Princess,” but also a green card.
“I from amrca. I born her. Seeking full time wif wit nice smile.”
7. Mr. Pretentious
“You misspelt ur word. Didnt u say ur a writer?”
8. The guy you know in person.
Him: Oh, hey! Is that you? I saw your mom last weekend.
You: Um… you have me confused for someone else.
*delete delete delete*
9. Mr. Hairdo
So am I going to marry your hair? Where’s your face?
10. Mama’s Boy.
All mom all the time. Love that. But where do I fit into your life?
11. The Bollywood Reject.
Gelled hair, motorcycle, and a leather jacket. Looking for the heroine to his hero.
12. The Model.
Is that Tyson Beckford? Oh wait, it actually is. -_-
Zainab is the founder of Mozzified and is a graduate student at UC Berkeley’s School of Journalism. Follow her on twitter @zaynman.
Zara works in San Francisco, enjoys writing, and laughs. She majored in Psychology at UC Merced. Follow her on twitter @zaranaz89.